"Lemonade"

HAPPY HOUR. Hallowed words.

Except you can't just say to your fellow teachers, "Let's get wasted after school on Friday." That would be considered uncouth. Uncouth, I say! (Use of uncouth count including just now: 3). Instead, we have to use code words or simple hand gestures. This is most fun when children are around you.

"How do you feel about getting some lemonade after school?" With "lemonade" being said slyly, as if you are the funniest person on the planet for giving it a double meaning. Tomato juice and iced tea work fine as well (Especially ice tea. From Long Island).

The children give us teachers blank stares as we discuss our love of lemonade. One time, however, I decided to get them involved. As I was leaving school one day, I was chatting with a fellow teacher who was taking a group of children outside for dismissal. We were discussing evening plans:

Mr. Vest: "Hey kids! Raise your hand if you LOVE lemonade!"

Cue every child raising their hand.

Mr. Vest: "We all love lemonade. Especially when in comes in many flavors!"

Children: "YEAH!"

Yeah, I'm going to hell. At least it will be refreshing.

Uncouth (count: 4).