The "Ohhhhhhh!" Factor

You know that moment.

When people are trading barbs and someone says something so off color and unexpected that it makes the crowd go, "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH." Yeah, I've been on the negative end of that a few times. It's an incredible moment for the other person. They just schooled you, if you will.

This "Oh" factor tends to go by the wayside as you get older. Back in the day, I had a lot of "Oh" moments when people (re: assholes) schooled me on my weight.

Corpulent Mr. Vest: "Got read a book!"
Asshole: "Yeah? Well, go eat everything, piggy."
Crowd of A'holes: "OHHHHHHH!"

Nowadays, it's not really something you encounter. Maybe on the subway. But it's kind of gauche to try to get somebody with an "Oh" factor when you are 26.

This isn't to say that I still don't find these moments exhilarating. Perhaps that is what drew me to teaching because they tend to happen when you hang out with ten year olds for nine hours a day.

One of the pluses with teaching 4th grade is that some of them are discovering that they are pretty f'in funny. I think it's the age where the clever are separated from the wooden. Luckily, I have several clever little lambs in my room this year.

Even so, a few of them have led me to a few "Ohhhhhhh" moments:

Mr. Vest: "Go to another classroom and take your negative attitude with you."
Class: "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH."

One of the better moments occurred a few days ago. Two boys, lets call them Nick and Terry, were having a battle of wits. There was a discussion about why he wanted a girl student, "Andrea," to get a reward.

Mr. Vest: "Why do you want to reward Andrew so badly?"
Nick: "It's because he has a crush on her!"
Class: (a mild) "Ohhhhhh!"
Terry: "Yeah? Well you have a crush on Katrina!"
Class: (a louder) "Ohhhh!!!"
Katrina: "He better not!"
Class: (an even louder) "Ohhhhhhhhhh!"
Nick: "Well, you have a crush on EVERYBODY!"
Class: (earth shattering) "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Nick: "Even MR. VEST!"
Class: (earth exploding) "OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Yeah, that was awesome.