The Spittin' Image

Earlier, I had an entry about farting...now, let's talk spit.

There seems to be this epidemic of spitting going on amongst the students of my grade recently. For reals. Spitting. I don't even know how this started or why it did, but it's here and I am dealing with it on almost a daily basis.

It began a few weeks ago, this spitting. A group of boys decided to be...well, boys and reak havoc on some kids on the school yard. What was interesting was that the group of boys that were involved are generally good kids. It was ended pretty quickly as I got faux mad at them and I thought nothing of it.

Until yesterday.

There's the kid, see...and we'll call him A Lot to Handle (ALTH). ALTH sucks his thumb, thinks he is god's gift to everything, and doesn't feel like doing any work. Ever. His mother also hates me with the strength of a thousand suns. I think it's because I let her know her kid is a pill.

So, ALTH has suddenly joined the Spit Train and it's making stops e-ve-r-y-where. Mainly on walls, posters, floors and children's necks and shirts. It's disgusting.

I took the kid down to our very patient dean and thought that the issue would be resolved within minutes.....Ninety minutes later she returns with him and looks exhausted. The kid shuffles in as if he's coming home from 'Nam and plops down in his seat. The thumb goes in his mouth and he sucks away.

You would think that after ninety minutes of lecturing about spitting and lying about spitting and generally letting the kid know that spitting is gah-ross, he'd stop.

Yeah...you're wrong.

An hour later, ALTH claimed five more victims in the span of minutes. It was like those raptors in "The Lost World" when they ate all of those dudes in a corn field.

I even watched him spit on a kid and when I confronted him he said, "I didn't spit on no one!"

"I saw it come out of your mouth," I retorted.

"I was just talking!"

"With spit?!"

"I'm really expressive when I talk!"

Gross.